1. Brain the size of a planet, forced to ferry around barely evolved chimpanzee’s to the quickie mart.
2. Smart enough to detect a falling acorn from 300 feet away, can totally see your disgusting personal habits.
3. Which marketing genius came up with the auto, porta potty?
4. Screaming at me because you’re late, hello!? We’re in a car, not a time machine!
5. Garbage… when did I become your trash can?
6. Fluffy dice are demeaning, god I hate what passes for taste.
7. Even cars get depressed, your CNN obsession is not helping.
8. Why add the side skirts, rear spoiler and go-faster stripe? God, I hate you.
9. Maintenance, hello?
10. Keep reminding me I can be replaced, well we will see who gets replaced first — oops my brakes just failed….