Uber’s Next CEO: Our List of Eligible Candidates

Posted by Carla DeCiccio on

With a blaring vacancy in tech’s C-suite neighborhood, the industry is buzzing with guesses as to who will fill the CEO seat at Uber. Luckily for them, we went through the trouble of coming up with a list of eligible candidates so they don’t have to. The following folks either have recently become employable, have a public history with cars, or a seriously enviable garage — all qualities that obviously make them an excellent fit for the position:

Bill O-Reilly — Needs a job, may be easiest fit with company culture.

Jay Leno — West coast car buff, can provide his own fleet.

David Hasselhoff — Very familiar with self driving cars.

Owen Wilson — Will make any company more cute.

Elon Musk — Time to take Uber underground.

Hillary Clinton — For her known expertise with internet and email security.

Kathy Griffin — She won’t lose her head (or anyone else’s) in this role.

TJ Miller — Making sure all Uber drivers toe the line.

Tiger Woods — has become a huge fan of Uber recently.

Xzibit — Time to set new standards for Uber car owners.

Jokes aside, we wish Uber well in the search! Then again, maybe the ex-host of a program called “Pimp My Ride” isn’t the best idea.

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